Opening Weekend Recap: Sad Gator

Relatable, right? I say that because only 10 of you correctly picked Iowa over Florida. Yep, Florida, the defending national champion and a 1-seed, got bounced in the second round by Iowa on a corner three with 4.5 seconds left.

Notably, the dude that hit the go-ahead basket, Alvaro Folgueiras, probably should have been ejected for throwing a punch earlier in the game.

The reason he wasn't? His punch didn't connect. Literally being rewarded for being bad at being bad. I guess we'll have to wonder what would have happened if it did.

Anyhoo, St. John's was a 5 seed taking on a 4 (Kansas) making their win an upset, technically, but more of you correctly picked this one than didn't, with 191 of you getting it right. Game was a nail-biter, though, with St. John's winning on a Tyus Edney-esque layup right before the buzzer...

How close to the buzzer was it? Pretty close...

So anyway, if you had the Gators and/or Kansas going deep, pour one out. Actually, pour two. You’re going to need them. Round 2 is in the books, and the Mimosa March Madness standings are very much in flux.

The Top of the Mountain

Olive the Basset has surged from 13th after Round 1 all the way to 1st place with 307 points. That’s right—a bracket inspired by a Basset Hound is running this pool. Olive had the best Round 2 in the field (tied at 125 points), proving once again that droopy ears and low centers of gravity are conducive to bracketological excellence. Olive has no Florida exposure and 493 possible points remaining.

Tied for 2nd at 302 points are MKaras314 and SoarinOverWDW. SoarinOverWDW held the top spot after Round 1 but slipped one place after a so-so Round 2 (100 points). MKaras314 climbed one spot with a solid 107-point second round. Both are Florida-free, which at this point is basically a prerequisite for being taken seriously.

BulgeJeans10 rocketed up 24 spots from 28th to 4th place (297 points) on the back of a monster 122-point Round 2. A Duke-Iowa State-Houston-Arizona portfolio is looking pretty clean heading into the Sweet 16. NCAArdvark-TheGrantEater also cracked the top 5 (up 9 spots to 5th) with an identical final four.

Dark Chalkcolate made the single most impressive leap in the top 10, vaulting 38 spots from 43rd to 5th with 293 points. A 122-point Round 2 will do that. Duke, Purdue, Iowa State, and Houston are all still alive for this bracket. Plenty of runway. Similarly, Olive's colleague Bocephus Johnson jumped 37 places from 44th to 7th (287 points) and has the highest possible remaining score of anyone in the top 10 at 501.

Celebrity Corner: Jay Bilas Is Coming For You

The biggest mover in the entire pool—and it’s not even close—is JAY BILAS, who went from 200th to 11th, a gain of 189 spots. Jay posted the single best Round 2 score of anyone in the field at 136 points. Apparently all those years of televised bracketology finally paid off. He’s got Illinois, Iowa State, Michigan State, and Arizona as his Final Four. Maybe I should have listened to Jay after all.

BUGS BUNNY sits comfortably at 9th (285 points), though the rascally rabbit has Florida in the Final Four, which is… not great. METALLICA shredded their way up 102 spots from 118th to 16th (276 points) on the strength of a 118-point Round 2. Master of Brackets, one might say. JORDAN CHILES stuck the landing at 20th (up 25 spots), while DICK VITALE climbed 21 spots to 30th—it’s AWESOME, BABY! (But also, Dickie V picked Florida to win it all, so… less awesome.)

Further down, YUNG GRAVY somehow climbed 163 spots to 57th, PRESIDENT OBAMA rose 153 spots to 59th, and the MASCOT BRACKET surged 113 spots to 78th, meaning that more than 2/3 of you are currently failing to to outperform one of the most absurd bracket picking strategies imaginable. Meanwhile, SNOOP DOGG dropped 122 spots to 209th, proving that gin and juice is not an effective analytical framework. And down at dead last in 314th place, BAD LUCK BRIAN continues to be exactly who his name says he is, with a pool-worst 114 points. As the person that had to manually enter his bracket, this is not a surprise. It was brutal.

The Biggest Movers

Beyond Jay Bilas, the biggest gainers in the field include Salsiccia (up 124 spots to 11th), Iafrate (up 144 spots to 18th), and Pflederer (up 82 spots to 20th). Johnny 5 climbed 47 spots to 13th and has the highest possible score of anyone in the top 15 at 507—though having Florida in the Final Four puts a significant dent in that ceiling. Also worth noting: A Loser @ The Top Of My Game jumped 32 spots to 18th and has a staggering 615 possible points remaining, the highest in the entire pool. But that’s because this bracket has Iowa, Arkansas, Michigan State, and Alabama as the Final Four—an audacious collection of picks that either ages like wine or milk.

On the other end of the spectrum, the carnage is real. Richardson saw the most heartbreaking fall from grace, cratering from 7th to 49th (down 42), MacDaddy was right there with him, falling out of the top 10 from 8th to 51st (down 43), and Corey Specter 1 tumbled from 15th to 51st (down 36). But the true horror stories belong to the people who fell completely off a cliff: Ellync3 plummeted 162 spots from 55th to 217th, Ghost vanished from 31st to 185th (down 154, and yes, pun very much intended), and March Radness went from 34th to 185th in what can only be described as March Sadness. Speaking of which, the bracket literally named March Sadness dropped 140 spots. Self-fulfilling prophecy or just bad luck? You decide.

The Florida Problem

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: the defending national champion Gators are done. And more than a few of you picked it to make a deep run.

For example, Bracket in time sits in 8th place with 286 points, which sounds great until you notice they picked Florida to win the whole thing. Their possible points dropped to just 407—one of the lowest ceilings of anyone in the top 10. That championship pick is now worth exactly zero, and the path forward just got a lot narrower.

In the absolute height of irony, Florida Man Arrested for Driving Cat Into Ocean (39th) has seen his hopes dashed because of Florida, which actually got eliminated in Florida. You can't write this stuff!

Yolanda K did this bracket for me is in 16th with Florida as champion. This is Dumb is tied for 20th and also had the Gators cutting down the nets. DICK VITALE at 30th, Doug Barth 2 at 33rd, and Florida Man Arrested for Driving Cat Into Ocean at 39th all had Florida as their champion.

BUGS BUNNY (9th) and Salsiccia (11th) both have Florida in the Final Four—not as devastating as a championship pick, but still a meaningful chunk of points they’ll never see. Johnny 5 (13th) had Florida in the Final Four too. DelandDude1 (26th, just outside the top 25) had Florida in the Final Four and is now looking at a lower ceiling right when it matters most.

Meanwhile, the brackets with zero Florida exposure—like Olive the Basset (1st), Dark Chalkcolate (5th), and Bocephus Johnson (7th)—are sitting pretty.

Before I stop talking about Florida, I have to close with this: Oliver Rioux is really, really tall.

The Bottom Line

With the Sweet 16 on deck, the standings are still wide open. The Big Ten is flexing with six teams in the Sweet 16, so anyone who loaded up on conference depth is feeling good. The pool leader is a dog. Jay Bilas is somehow the hottest hand in the field. And if your bracket name includes a prediction about losing, congratulations—you nailed it.

See you after the Sweet 16. Try not to look at your possible points. It’ll only make you sad.

-Jamie

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